- Understands your terminology
- Is clear about the content of the discussion and how to participate
- Feels safe to reveal what he or she is truly thinking or feeling
- Is on a similar wavelength to yours – in sync
- Expresses values and beliefs easily
- Has few, if any, un-discussable sacred cows
- Explores issues from multiple perspectives
- Inquires into deeper meaning
- Is fully present – in the moment – attuned and alert
- Says, I get where you are coming from.
When sound conversation is happening, you and the person you are coaching are ‘thinking together’ instead of operating out of your own individual thoughts. This ‘thinking together’ produces entirely new solutions and joint ownership, which is needed for enthusiastic implementation. So, listen deeply, avoid serial monologues and instead encourage the other person to voice their views authentically, courageously, openly, and genuinely. It also means learning to be at peace with silence. Read more: Effective Conversations Part 1: Conversation Not Debate Effective Conversations Part 3: Demonstrating Empathy“I might disagree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.” Voltaire French writer and philosopher (1694 — 1778)